Confidence is important. How can you improve it?
Create the confidence that will create the life you’ll love.
"Have confidence!" is one of the most essential pieces of advice you'll receive in life that makes no sense if you've never had it. You know what confident people look like, walk like, and talk like. The opportunities they experience, and that it's something worth emulating. So how do you get there?
What is Confidence Anyway?
In the purest sense, confidence is knowing what you're good at, the value you provide to yourself and others, and acting in a way that conveys that outwardly. Confidence is not to be confused with arrogance or low self-esteem, which involves believing you're less valuable, a "victim-self." The closer energetically your self-assessment is toward strong self-esteem and the more you behave accordingly, the closer you are to living with healthy balanced confidence.
Why does this definition matter?
Because if you want to raise your confidence to a level that benefits you, it's important to know what you're aiming for. Blindly thinking positively is not a lasting solution. Will power will give out long before your mindset will change. They key is in discovering why having confidence will benefit you. Confidence is one of those traits that can become an ideal that we all think is good, but ask us to point to the specific reasons why anyone should want it and we can only point to vague reasons. Fortunately, I (aarmed with a few key facts) have got your back!
Here are just a few ways that actually improving your own self-confidence manifests into your real benefits:
* Confidence can be more important romantically than physical attractiveness
* Confidence early in life can mean upward mobility at work
* Confidence creates a foundation for strong decision-making with fewer regrets
* Confidence has the ability to override the roadblocks of fear (good vs evil)
* Even being overly confident has its benefits. You may not always be right, but you may be more prone to standing up for your values and what you believe in.
What can you do to actually improve your confidence (Not just think about, but actually do to improve.)
Whether you are a work-out buff or not, exercising regularly creates confidence. The effects of working out on your confidence are so overwhelming! When you exercise, your body releases endorphins that make you feel pretty good. When you're done, you have tangible proof that you've done something constructive and everything in your body is is responding to that. If you keep at it long-term, the results of a healthier body become more and more visible, as well as your mental and physical confidence!
How can clothes improve your confidence? If you've never taken the time to assess your fashion sense, you may not realize the dramatic effect it can have on your confidence level. Everything from the style of your clothes to the color of your eye glass frames affects how people view you.
When how you appear is in sync with how you want people to view you, confidence can easily follow. As a young girl, my Mother always said to me, “If you are dressed like a lady, you will act like a lady”
Where the mind goes the body flows. If your mind is in a slump, there’s a good chance your body is following. Standing tall, moving with intention, uncrossing your arms are all ways that will say, "Hey, I got this," and improve the confidence you are putting out along with what is being perceived.
Share Your Knowledge
Talk about and share what you know and love! We all have a passion and knowledge in an area that speaks to us. Share that knowledge with others! Inspire them and give your confidence permission to shine. You have a gift that no one else has. Share it! Staying on point with a topic you know removes the power fear has in areas you don’t know. Articulate your confidence and increase your value.
Do What You’re Good at and Win
I’m not suggesting that you compete against youngsters or that you BS about your skill. I’m suggesting that you do more of what you know you are good at. If you are a great runner, run in a race. Go into it knowing you can run and that you can win. Let that boost of confidence flow over into areas of your life that could stand a gold medal.
Do a Personal Inventory
Yikes! Take stock of the things you may not like about yourself. Although this sounds scary, trust me, it's worth it. A mentor of mine, Bill Baren, says, "Ask people what they like about you and what they don’t like about you. It’s not about taking it personally, rather it becomes about improving on areas that would allow your confidence to increase."
Example: If you are always calling a friend to repeat how miserable or unfair your life is, and that surely the world is coming to an end, but you also notice in others how upbeat they always seem to be and that people enjoy hanging out with them, decide which you would rather emulate. I promise if you put the focus on what you love you will drift away from what you loath. Be your own light!
Confidence can’t be bought in a grocery store, it can’t be meditated or "gratituded" (my word). Confidence can, however, be cultivated. Like any good muscle, the more you use it the stronger it will grow.
Questions to ask yourself:
* What do confident people that I know do differently?
* What are you good at?
* What are 3 values you love about yourself? (Mine: Creativity, Communication, Organized)
* Where do you believe you energy on the confidence scale lies? 1=none 10=arrogance
* Where in your life has having confidence helped or benefitted you?
* How has confidence affected your relationships?
* How would increasing confidence decrease your levels of fear?
* When would being over confident help you?
* What would be the single BIGGEST impact of having unshakable CONFIDENCE do to improve your life?